


Frogs are Bitches

by MalecAcid



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Allison Hargreeves Deserves Better, Allison Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Amnesia, And gets one!! A few times actually jfnsnsm, Angst, Apologies, Baby Pogo, Ben Hargreeves Deserves Better, Ben Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Crack, Crack Fic, Dancing, Diego Hargreeves Deserves Better, Diego Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Doomsday, Drabble Collection, Episode: s02e06 A Light Supper, F/F, F/M, Family BBQ, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fraud, Funeral, Gen, Hugs, Humor, Klaus Hargreeves Deserves Better, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Laughing Gas, Lila Pitts Needs A Hug, Luther Hargreeves Deserves Better, Luther Hargreeves Needs A Hug, M/M, Majestic 12, Mamie Pink, No Incest, Number Five | The Boy Deserves Better, Number Five | The Boy Needs A Hug, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Outfits, Possession, Reginald Hargreeves' A+ Parenting, Reunions, Team Zero (Umbrella Academy), The Commission, Tumblr: tuactober, Tumblr: tuactober 2020, Vanya Hargreeves Deserves Better, Vanya Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Yes i just tagged all of those yes it took forever no i regret nothing, prophet - Freeform, s1 vs s2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:49:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 12,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26779150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MalecAcid/pseuds/MalecAcid
Summary: ...and we don't negotiate with terrorists(TUActober 2020 Drabble Collection)
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves & Diego Hargreeves, Allison Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Allison Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Allison Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Allison Hargreeves/Patrick, Ben Hargreeves & Everyone, Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves/Jill, Claire & Harlan Cooper, Diego Hargreeves/Eudora Patch, Diego Hargreeves/Lila Pitts, Klaus Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves/David "Dave" Katz, Number Five | The Boy & Allison Hargreeves, Raymond Chestnut/Allison Hargreeves, Sissy Cooper/Vanya Hargreeves, The Hargreeves Family, Vanya Hargreeves/Leonard Peabody
Comments: 122
Kudos: 150





	1. Doomsday

**Author's Note:**

> Alright so!! This is my first year doing this so let's hope I don't fall behind!!! 
> 
> Actually though I'm super excited to write and post all these prompts because they're really good!! They're all by @totallyevan on tumblr!! 
> 
> But yea 🥺🥺 I hope you like these!!

"Three." A grumpy six year old Five started. "Stop." 

"I heard a rumor~" 

Five blinked forward and shoved her shoulder lightly, cutting off her sentence while she glared. 

"Shut. Up." He crossed his arms, but Three smiled.

"I heard a rumor that you sat on the couch." She watched, holding back her laughter as Five seemed to pout at her even through her rumor. 

They didn't usually spend their free time together, Three and Five. But when they did, it never did turn out the best. Which is what led them to this point. 

Five, stuck on the couch, attempted to blink away, only to stay in place and throw himself against the back of the couch in frustration. 

"Threeeeee" He whined, kicking his feet slightly. "Let me go." 

"Hmmm." She thought for a moment, jumping forward to sit next to him, just out of his reach. "No."

He glared at her as an evil smile started to form on her face. "Don't do it." 

"I heard a rumor-"

"Three!"

"I heard a rumor that we're gonna die just like the dinosaurs!" She said, clapping her chubby baby hands together. Five crossed his arms and pouted, but he knew that she was just messing around. Her powers couldn't affect the world anyways, only people. 

"Yup." She continued, "There's gonna be an apocalypse. A doomsday!"

"Stopppppp." He kicked his feet more, and Three sighed, but the playful smile didn't get erased from her face. 

"Fineeee." She released the rumor, and he jumped up from the couch.

"I'm going to tell mommmm." He teased, moving to run up the stairs where mom was sure to be cooking lunch. 

"Noooooo!" Three screeched, moving to chase after him. 

Before either of them could make it completely up the stairs, the alarm all around the house blared for a moment, the intercom clicking on. 

"Your thirty minutes of free time are up. Return to the learning area." Their father's voice rang out loudly, and Three and Five turned to sigh at each other before moving in sync towards the room with the uncomfortable desks and chairs. 

Three forgot that day the moment after it happened. 

But Five. 

Five never forgot.

* * *

Allison didn't know why Five glared at her the moment he dropped in from the vortex in the sky. 

They had never been the best of friends when they were kids, she'll admit that, but this felt a little… excessive. She thought that he would at least miss her a _little_ bit. But instead… 

He avoids talking to her, gives her a dirty look every chance he gets, and she just doesn't understand _why_. 

He mentions a doomsday, later on, and a spark of remembrance tics in the back of her mind, but she doesn't fully remember. 

She shakes it off, telling herself that it wasn't important if she didn't remember. 

Allison never had the best memory, anyways.


	2. S1 vs S2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like this one!! It is angsty kfkxkdkd v angsty but also I really like it so 🥺🥺

Patrick was like a building fire. He was like the start of something that would never be finished.

Allison met him at the one year anniversary of her first movie. She married him four years later. 

Patrick gave her the most important person in her life. Without him, Claire wouldn't exist. Allison didn't forget that. 

She loved him, she really did. She loved him for years, and she thinks that he loved her too. 

She doesn't know for sure, though.

* * *

Ray was almost like a breath of fresh air. 

Allison had been thrown into a new world, a new world that gave her more hate than she thought she would ever experience. When she was with Ray, the hate existed, but it was never at the forefront of her mind. 

Ray was like light in the darkness, shining and giving her a way to find happiness in the 60s. Giving her a way to find happiness. Showing her the way that she could fight for what was right and still have happy days. 

Ray didn't give her Claire, but he gave her love. 

Allison loved him, so much. 

And this time, she knew that he loved her back.

* * *

Dave was something that Klaus never had.

Sure, he had relationships before. Relationships with men, women, all of the above and more. 

It was different with Dave. Everything was different with Dave. 

It was ten months of the most intense love Klaus had ever felt. And then it was gone. 

Well, it wasn't gone, it was just overtaken by the pain replacing all other emotion in his heart. Dave died, and a part of Klaus died with him. 

He missed him, so much.

* * *

Dave was back. Dave was _alive_. 

Except he wasn't. 

Klaus' Dave had died in 1968, died in the Vietnam War. This Dave… 

This Dave was a twenty two year old who worked in a store that sold mamie pink paint. This Dave never met Klaus, never spent ten months soldiering with him. 

This Dave didn't love him.

And he didn't love this Dave. 

He missed his Dave. Missed him so, so much.

* * *

Eudora was his first. 

Well, that wasn't completely true. He had been with others, but Eudora was the first that he truly _loved_. 

She just understood him. He felt as if she mirrored him completely. 

Eudora would take his snappy comments in stride and reply with one of her own. He felt as if they matched perfectly. 

He loved her, but then he was kicked from the police academy. They fell out, as some do. He still loved her, though. He knew that he would always love her. 

Diego felt almost as if he was starting to get her back just before he found her dead on the floor of a cheap motel.

* * *

Lila was fast. A fast love. 

He met her in the psych ward. She seemed a bit off, but she was fun to talk to. 

It was only a couple months later when he found himself fighting to keep her in the car that he realized, oh, I'm falling again. 

Then Diego and Lila were in Elliott's bed, then she disappeared, then he found out that she didn't love him the way he thought she did. 

Then he found out, as he was telling her about her shitty mother who gave her a shitty idea of love, that maybe, just maybe, she did love him. 

Diego could see in her eyes that he was getting her back just before the Handlers gun went off.

* * *

Vanya thought that Leonard was love. 

He had asked for her company, actually wanted to be around her, and how could she deny the one thing she had wanted her entire life? 

She was desperate to proove her sister wrong, she'll admit. 

She thought that it was love, but maybe, maybe she was wrong. 

Allison gave her doubts about Leonard, and Vanya stayed with him almost out of pure spite. But then, then she was loosing control and slitting Allison's thought and then she stayed with Leonard out of fear because what if someone comes after her? What if her family hates her? 

But then Leonard was yelling and slamming his hand and making noise and she just _couldn't_ \- 

And he was dead on the ground. 

That wasn't love, she was sure of it.

* * *

Sissy was there for Vanya. 

Sissy gave her a place to live, gave her a life that she didn't even know she wanted. 

Harlan was just as important to Vanya as Sissy was. She loved them both, so much. 

Sissy showed her what love was, how it was supposed to be. Vanya couldn't remember her past, didn't have any memories, but she knew that she wanted her future to be with Sissy. Knew that she wanted to be around her, wanted to be loved by her and love her back. 

Sissy gave her a _home_.

That was love, she was sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm keeping up so far but,,, we'll see kfkzmxms


	3. Pinky Swear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is my favorite so far and I hope you like it 🥺🥺🥺

"She never cared about your parents." Five spoke quickly, eyeing the knife in Lila's hand warily. "She was looking for _you_." His voice rattled around in her head. 

"Why?" She whispered, letting the hand gripping the knife loosen slightly. 

"'Cause you're one of us." Diego's voice sounded behind her and she whipped around, pointing the knife in his direction. "The Handler took you Lila." She shook her head as he stepped forward. "Just like our asshole of a father took all of us." 

"No." She shook her head again, her attempts to not let the panic seep into her voice failing as she pointed the knife at each of them in turn. "It's not the same." 

"You're right." Diego said softly, stepping closer. "Because he didn't have our parents murdered." She squeezed her eyes shut, willing away tears before opening them up again and throwing a glare in Diego's direction as the siblings surrounded her. 

"Listen to me Lila." She clenched the hand not holding the knife tightly. "You were born October 1st, 1989, the same day as all of us." He stepped even closer and Lila moved backwards, holding the knife up defensively. 

"Stay back!" She yelled, and Diego held his hands up in surrender, his voice sounding comforting as he spoke, almost as if he wasn't the one being aimed at with a knife. 

"Hey, hey stop! Wait, wait. Lila, Lila stop-"

She cut him off. "I trusted you." Her eyes moved around frantically, avoiding Diego's own. "I got you a job, I even introduced you to my mother and you took off on me!" Just like everyone else in Lila's life had. Just as her mother would, she knew. 

"Because I had to save the world!" He yelled, but then his eyes softened. "She's using you, Lila. The Handler."

"You're wrong." Images of being shot at came to the forefront of her mind, but she pushed them away. "She raised me. She loves me." Lila thinks she does. She thinks. 

"Well, you know what?" Luther cut in, and Lila turned to face him with a glare. "Love shouldn't have to hurt this much." She looked at him incredulously for a moment before gagging, and he sighed. "All right. I tried."

"He's right," Five moved forward quickly. "We have to kill her." Lila moved forward to stab him, but Diego's voice stopped her. 

"Wait! Hey, Five! Five, stop!" He said quickly, and Five actually backed up, to Lila's surprise, as Diego continued. "I got it." 

Diego turned to face Lila, a forced calm expression on his face. "Hey, Lila. Truth?" She gave a slight nod. "She's dangerous. And you're scared of what she'll do with all that new power." Lila didn't move. "That's why you dragged me to the commission. Because I know what it's like to love dangerous people." She lowered the hand with the knife to her side.

"Difference is… " He turned his head to look at each of his siblings in turn, Lila's eyes never leaving his face before he turned his gaze back to her. "They love me back." She sighed, squeezing her eyes shut once again. He was tricking her, making her vulnerable. He was tricking her, he was tricking her, he was tricking her, he was-

She raised the knife once again, pointing it at his chest. "Shut up." Shut up, shut up, shut up. She can't, she can't. 

"The only thing she loves is power. Now, the minute she can't use you, she'll turn on you, and deep down, I know you know that." She held the knife closer to his heart. 

"You don't know me Diego." She spoke defensively, and he stepped forward despite the knife poking into his chest. 

"Don't I?" He questioned, looking down at her watering eyes seriously. "I know that we can be your real family. If you just let us." He sounded sincere, and Lila couldn't help but turn to look at each of the Hargreeves in turn as the hand with the knife lowered. 

Each of them looked at her genuinely, understanding looks on each of their faces, and she dropped the knife into the hay at her feet before turning to look up at Diego once again. 

She raised her hand quickly, pinky out, and relished in the ghost of a smile that appeared on Diego's face. 

"Pinky swear?" Lila asked, voice quiet, and gave a sigh of relief when Diego raised his own hand to lock his pinky with hers. 

"The pinkiest."

* * *

And outside of the barn, the remaining Swede was disposing of the body of the Handler.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's hope I dontttt fall behindddd


	4. Prophet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last one I did in preparation so 😔😔 let's hope I can keep up mdmzmxmzm

"So, your cult-"

"Spiritual group!" Klaus cut him off from his spot on the floor, legs crossed. "It's not a cult." 

Ben rolled his eyes. "Mhm. So, this spiritual group has been calling you-"

"Prophet." The word sounded quickly from the open door to Klaus' room, Keechie standing there, hands forming a triangle shape on his head. 

Ben huffed at being interrupted again, but couldn't hold back his grin. Prophet. They called Klaus their _prophet_. 

Klaus threw him a glare before turning to Keechie. "Yeah yeah, what is it?" 

He took a step further into the room. "There are new members ready for enlightenment. They would like to hear their Pr-"

"Yeah!" Klaus cut him off before he could finish the word. "Tell them their-" He glanced at Ben who bit his lip to stop himself from smiling too wide. "Prophet will be there in a few minutes." 

Keechie nodded quickly before running out of the room, shutting the door quietly behind him. Klaus whipped around to face a laughing Ben. 

Klaus glared at him even harder than before. "What?" He huffed, crossing his arms. 

"Prophet." He crossed his arms, shaking with laughter. "They call you, prophet." 

"Yeah yeah." Klaus shook his head at him. "Laugh it up." 

Klaus moved to the door, but Ben followed closely along, keeping up with Klaus' quick steps. 

"Enlighten me Prophet." Ben mocked, smile wide as Klaus huffed. "Prophet, bless the pool waters. Prophet, prophet, prophet-"

Klaus moved forward quickly to step on Ben's foot in an attempt to get him to shut up, but when it phased through Ben only grinned wider. 

"Prophet," Klaus groaned, throwing the doors open wide to face his growing cult as Ben continued to speak loudly from beside him. "Give a speech. Prophet- enlighten my friend like you-"

"Alright!" Klaus got the attention of the group while simultaneously cutting Ben off. "Want some enlightenment?" The people nodded, raising their hands to the sky and showing off their tattooed palms while Klaus sighed. 

"Never gonna give you up," Klaus started, unable to hold back his grin. "Never gonna let you down-"

"Klaus-"

"Never gonna run around," He continued, speaking loudly over Ben to get him to shut up. "And desert you."

He stopped, and his cult ooh-ed and ah-ed from in front of him, nodding at each other with smiles on their faces. He turned to Ben who just rolled his eyes. 

"You are unbelievable." He crossed his arms as Klaus walked past him. "I can't believe you just-"

"Mhm." Klaus hummed, walking through the large entrance to his room, slamming the heavy doors in Ben's face when he attempted to follow.

He only stepped through the doors, though, intent on not letting Klaus live this down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you likedddd 🥺🥺🥺 also the rick rolling thing with the cult has definitely been done before but like I regret nothing kcmxmcnzm


	5. The Swedes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is very crack-y and I'm not sorry

The three guys with the white hair barged into their house and killed the lady with the things in her hair. They didn't care very much though. It was whatever. 

They had only lived there for a year or so, and the lady never gave the best pets, so they didn't mind. 

Though the three men did keep her head in the freezer, and it was starting to stink up the place. They didn't like that very much. 

It was a little weird when the brothers started throwing knives at each other, but it's not like they cared. Except for the blood. The second tallest one started bleeding everywhere and it got on their nerves. 

At least they gave good scritches. And food. They always gave them their leftover food, and the lady never did that. 

Every day it seemed like they came back with one less person, and maybe that was a little bit concerning. They liked the short one, he gave the best pets. It was too bad that he was gone. 

It seemed like as soon as the shortest one disappeared, the taller brothers were dragging them off some place. They wouldn't have minded if they were not sleeping at the time. They didn't think that the Swedes gave good enough scritches to interrupt their naps, but maybe they could forgive them. Maybe. 

The house that they had been dragged to had really good food, and the two remaining brothers let them have all that they wanted. 

Watching the guy get tortured was a bit much, though. His screams gave them all headaches, and some of his blood splattered into their fur. Maybe the food was worth it. Maybe. 

Then one day the two brothers left again and only one came back. They were starting to get even more concerned, they needed them there to feed them and give them pets. At least the oldest one came back. He didn't give as good of scritches as the shortest one, but they would take what they could get. 

Then he started to scream and lift an axe, ready to chop off his hand and they couldn't have that, he wouldn't be able to give good scritches with only a stump. 

So they knocked over the trash can and he decided to scratch at the tube thing with the axe rather than his skin, which was probably for the best. They were tired of the blood, it was starting to stink almost as much as the head in the freezer. 

But then he whispered something about flowers and picked up his gun, leaving and never coming back, probably joining some cult, leaving them alone in the small house. 

They would miss him, and they didn't really know what to do without a human to give them pets and food. 

They were cats though, they would figure it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I. regret. nothing. (Don't say I'm a Ben kinnie bc I already know)


	6. Farm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaa this one's late but shhh kfkxkxkz

"So," Sissy started, driving up to a house unknown to Vanya. "This is your home for the time being." She stopped the car and turned in her seat to face Vanya, who moved her gaze to avoid Sissy's eyes. 

"Thank you." She said quietly, flinching when Sissy moved her hand to rest it on Vanya's shoulder. 

"Honey, you're very welcome here. My son… he's hard to get used to, he's not like most kids his age, but he'll warm up to you quick enough, I'm sure. And my husband won't mind one bit." Vanya nodded quickly, and Sissy sighed. "Well," She gestured towards the house. "I think it's time you get settled in."

When Sissy's arm slid off her shoulder, Vanya turned and opened the car door, wincing as the sun only worsened her headache. She hoped that those would go away soon. 

After a second of just standing there, squinting at the sun, Sissy came and stood next to her, gesturing around the area as she spoke. 

"So this is the farm." She pointed to the large building a few meters away from the house. "That's the barn." Her hand dropped down by her side. "You're welcome here, of course, but it would do you some good to help out on the farm. I'll show you around." 

She started to move forward while Vanya stared for a moment before trailing slowly behind her. 

It didn't take long to go around the entire farm, Sissy showing her tasks she could do to help out. It wasn't bad, Carl was nice enough and Harlan was a good kid. 

Maybe this could be her home, rather than just a house. Rather than just a farm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you likedddd 🥺🥺🥺🥺


	7. Team Zero

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this one's really cheesy and really short but I like it a lot jcjxjdnsn and technically!!! It is not late bc it is before midnight for me mfnxmx it counts okay

They all stood there together, for what could have been the last time, facing the full force of the commission while Harlan made a snowstorm behind them. 

Maybe they would die here. Maybe they wouldn't. At the very least, they would give it their all, saving each other before themselves. Sacrificing themselves for one another. Just a part of the daily routine of being a Hargreeves sibling, they supposed. 

The Handler dropped the red flag, and the hundreds of people ran forward, shooting at the small group of seven. 

"I don't like our chances, but it's fight and die now, or fight and die later." Five said, glancing between each of them in turn. 

Klaus shrugged. "What's the point of running anymore?" He looked at Five who nodded in response. 

The bullets ricocheted around them while they took one last look at each other. To no one's surprise, Diego held out his hands, balling them into fists as he grinned what could be his last grin. 

"Team Zero?" He questioned, leaning down slightly as a bullet whizzed over his head. 

They all rolled their eyes, but none of them hesitated when they bumped their fist against Diego's. 

Five huffed. "Team Zero, I guess." 

Diego grinned even wider. "Unstoppable."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you likedddd 🥺🥺🥺🥺


	8. Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is cheesy as fuck but I love it jcjdjdje

Klaus." Five called out loudly, and Klaus turned away from the hug with a roll of his eyes. "Is Ben here?" 

Klaus huffed, and before the ghost on the chair behind him could protest he lifted his hand and made him visible. "Yeah, yeah."

Ben immediately jumped up from the chair as their siblings' gaze turned on him. He looked at each of their faces in turn before tilting his head slightly, eyes on the wall behind them. "Hey guys." 

Klaus huffed again at the sight of his brother being the awkward mess he knew that he would be. Seventeen years without interaction with anyone but one person would make you a social mess, he supposed. 

He glanced at each of his alive siblings' faces, the tears in a few of their eyes making his heart clench while seeing Vanya's emotionless one making it shatter. It still hadn't fully registered that she remembered no one. 

The first one to rush forward was Allison, running up to Ben and wrapping her arms tightly around him. Ben froze for a moment before hugging her back. He looked overwhelmed, but in the best way possible. 

Diego ran forward next and wrapped his arms around both of them, squeezing them tightly. After that, Luther, Five and Vanya came forward, Five patting Ben's shoulder with a fake look of disgust while Luther hugged the group and Vanya stood to the side. 

When they all eventually separated, Ben turned to look at Vanya who inched forward slowly. He laughed and hugged her quickly. 

"I uh, missed you guys." Ben looked between each of them and Allison stepped closer. 

"We missed you too." 

"Not that this heartwarming moment isn't nice, but we should probably get back to, you know, saving the world?" Klaus said, cutting into the softness of the moment as he made Ben visible to only his eyes once again. 

They all rolled their eyes at him, Diego flicking his forehead as he walked past, but they didn't protest. They had a job to do. 

(And they knew that this wouldn't be the last time.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you likedddd 🥺🥺🥺


	9. Beauty Parlor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaa I hope you like this oneeee 🥺🥺🥺🥺

"Come on guys." Allison said quickly, pushing Klaus and Diego down the familiar street as they protested. 

Where are we even going?" Diego asked as he squinted down the street. "I've never been in this part of Dallas." 

Allison rolled her eyes. "That's because you escaped from the psych ward a week ago, and got in it a day after you got here. You haven't been in any part of Dallas, really." He glared in response, but Allison ignored it in favor of turning to Klaus who was dragging his feet behind them. "Come on!"

She pulled them up towards the all too familiar beauty parlor, the name Odessa painted largely on the windows. 

Klaus turned to her with a scowl. "No. Nope." Allison rolled her eyes while Klaus hissed at and flipped off the empty air. 

"You guys _need_ haircuts. I don't think either of you have even looked at a beauty parlor since coming to the 60s." She huffed, pushing them through the open doors before they could protest more. 

When all of them made it into the store, Allison turned immediately to Odessa, who gave her an incredulous look. 

"These… are your brothers?" She asked, and Allison looked down to the floor for a second before looking back up. 

"Sadly." Diego made an offended noise from somewhere behind her which she promptly ignored in favor of stepping closer to Odessa. "You think you can help them?" 

Odessa moved slightly to the side, eyeing both of the brothers sceptically before sighing. "They seem pretty hopeless, but I'll see what I can do." 

It took only a few minutes to get Diego and Klaus into two chairs, Odessa behind Diego and Allison behind Klaus, scissors in hand. 

"I did not agree to this!" Klaus said loudly, moving his head slightly forward. 

Odessa crossed her arms. "I'm sure you didn't." 

Allison started snipping away at Klaus' hair immediately, but before Odessa could even touch Diego's hair he spoke quickly. 

"You sure you know what you're doing?" She rolled her eyes, holding the scissors open semi-threateningly. 

"Who's the one with the scissors?" She questioned, and Diego rolled his eyes, but leaned back against the chair anyways. 

An hour later two very pouty guys with superpowers and one way-two-smug ghost walked out of a beauty parlor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ending was a bit abrupt but I actually really like this one 🥺🥺


	10. Hug

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one,,,, is cheesy. And has the exact same ending as the reunion one. Sorry not sorry. Kxkzmxms

"Come on." Klaus huffed, pulling on Jill's arm lightly as she stumbled along in her attempts to keep up.

"Where are we going prophet?" Klaus winced at the name, ignoring Ben's seemingly never-ending stream of questions in favor of continuing to talk to Jill. 

"Somewhere hidden. Behind the fence maybe." Ben stopped walking at that, back stiff. 

"Klaus, are you really-" 

"Come on." He hissed, cutting Ben off and startling Jill. 

Ben sighed and continued following them, dragging his feet behind him. Klaus rolled his eyes but said nothing.

"Alright," Klaus started after pulling Jill behind the fence and waiting for Ben to walk up. "No ones here, so-" 

"Klaus-" 

"There's something I need to tell you! Jill! No one can know, though." He said quickly, and Jill looked at him in confusion, but nodded along anyways.

"Do you remember that day, when I was acting-" 

"Dorkier than usual?" She smiled brightly. "Yeah, why?" 

Ben paused from beside him, eyes filled with hope before he seemed to dampen it down. "Klaus, you can't-" 

"Well!" He clapped his hands together. "That actually wasn't me!" 

Jill tilted her head to the side, smile dimming slightly. "What… do you mean?"

"Well," Ben stepped forward hesitantly as Klaus spoke. "You see. That was actually my dead brother!" Jill's eyes widened. "Yup, and don't freak out just yet, but he's here right now!" 

Jill whipped her head around. "What." She turned back to Klaus. "What."

"Well, I can see the dead and show other people the dead blah blah blah and he is dead so-" Klaus focused for a second, making Ben visible to Jill and anyone who happened to walk by. "Here he is." 

Jill took a surprised step back while Ben waved awkwardly. "Hey." His hand dropped back down by his side. 

She tilted her head to the side again before speaking. "So I was talking to you?" Ben nodded. "With the strawberries?" He huffed a laugh and nodded.

"Yeah, that was me." He said quietly, and Klaus rolled his eyes. The dorks. 

Jill rushed forward unexpectedly, wrapping her arms around Ben's waist. He froze for a moment in surprise before hugging her back. 

They only stood there for a few minutes before Klaus sighed, clapping his hands together, causing them to separate.

"Come on now, I can't keep him visible all day." He said, secretly relishing in the happy smiles on each of their faces. 

Slowly, Ben faded out of Jill's existence, and both of their smiles dropped slightly. It was okay, though. 

This wouldn't be the last time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you likeddd 🥺🥺


	11. Outfits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOODIE DRESS BEN HOODIE DRESS BEN HOODIE DRESS BEN HOODIE DRESS BEN HOODIE DRESS BEN HOODIE-
> 
> anyways this is the only good idea I've ever come up with so 🥺🥺 I hope you like it kcmxmxm it's also way too long for a drabble but shhhh

"So." Ben started as he followed Klaus down the busy street. "Where are you dragging me now." 

Klaus huffed. "It's a surprise."

"Surprises are never good when it comes to you." Ben crossed his arms while Klaus hissed, throwing a glare in his direction but not saying anything. "Just tell me."

"Shh!" Klaus shushed him, and Ben made an offended noise from somewhere behind him, but didn't stop following. 

"We get back to 2019, with our siblings. You're sober. And the first thing you do is drag me down a street?" Ben questioned incredulously. 

"I realized something," Klaus began as they slowed their pace, coming in front of a clothing store. "I think that you can change clothes since you're like, able to touch things now."

Ben dropped his hands by his sides, staring at Klaus silently for a moment before speaking. 

"And why?" He asked, and Klaus crossed his own arms in response. 

"Why not? You've been in this drab emo getup for seventeen years, I think it's time to change the look up a bit, no?" Before Ben could protest any more, Klaus threw the doors of the shop open, happily taking in the fact that there were only a few people and the employees. He wouldn't get that many weird looks for talking to the empty air, then. 

Not that he minded anymore. He'd just rather not get thrown out of a shop again for other customers complaints of him being 'crazy.'

"This is stupid." Ben stated simply as Klaus began to look through the aisles. "How do you know if this is even going to work."

"That's the point Benny," Klaus started, grabbing a patterned shirt he knew Ben would despise off of a bar and hanging it on his arm. "I don't. So why not test it?" Ben sighed, but didn't say anything else. 

When Klaus ended up dragging Ben to the dress and skirt section is when he began to protest.

"Klaus." He turned to look at him, staring blankly. "I'm not wearing a dress. Or a skirt." 

"Ben." He mocked. "Yes you are. I have the perfect idea! You'll love it, seriously." 

"I doubt it." He muttered under his breath, but followed Klaus along the aisles anyways, watching as he searched for something specific. 

Only a few moments later, Klaus grinned, grabbing something Ben never could have expected off of the rack. 

"A… " 

"Hoodie dress! You're going to look great. All the undead hotties will be after you." Klaus said, grin slowly getting wider as he picked up an array of blacks and greys. 

"I'm not wearing those." He crossed his arms. "I'm not."

"Come onnnnnn." Klaus whined, and Ben rolled his eyes. "At least try them! You never know, you might like them." 

"Mhm." He hummed disbelievingly, but continued to let Klaus lead him to where the dressing rooms were. 

Klaus shoved all the hoodie dresses into his hands and shoved him into the dressing room, closing the door and leaving Ben by himself to decide what to do. 

"Why am I doing this again?" Ben said loudly so that Klaus could hear him through the door.

"Because!" Klaus yelled back, and he sighed, throwing the dresses onto the bench to view each of them, trying to decide which one to put on. 

Klaus had picked out a few black ones, ranging in length to material, as well as a grey one and a hot pink one, which Ben was decidedly not trying on. 

He reached forward and randomly grabbed the black mid-length dress, holding it in his hands and feeling the soft fabric as he stared. 

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. It looked kind of nice in his hands and in his head, at least. 

He changed quickly, throwing off his jacket and hoodie before putting on the dress. He contemplated for a moment without looking in the mirror whether or not he should have his jeans on, before he thought, fuck it, and threw those off too. 

He turned to face the mirror after squeezing his eyes shut and stood there for a minute before he opened his eyes, then remembered that ghosts couldn't see their reflections without Klaus' influence and cursed himself for being such an idiot. 

"Klaus!" He yelled. "Make me visible so I can see myself asshole!"

Ben felt something change without a word from Klaus and snapped his eyes shut before he could see himself. Slowly he opened one of his eyes and then the other, staring at the image in the mirror. 

Maybe it wasn't that bad. Maybe he liked it. He would keep it. He needed a change, anyways. He could use some tights, though. And maybe some boots. And eyeliner. 

Ben opened the door of the dressing room and watched as Klaus' face lit up with a grin. 

"So," Ben started. "Boots? Maybe some tights?"

"I knew you would like it, asshole." He stood up from the floor with a huff of laughter. 

Ben crossed his arms. "It's not that bad." He lied, he knew it was awesome. 

"Mhm." Klaus grabbed his arm, pulling him through the store. "Boots next. Then tights."

"Then eyeliner?" He asked quietly, and Klaus stopped his fast pace to turn to him. 

"Then eyeliner." He gripped Ben's arm tighter and began walking. "You're going to look amazing."

Ben hummed and followed close behind. 

This wasn't that bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked 🥺


	12. Majestic 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ended up scraping this together last minute and it's an absolute crack fic but I love it so!! I hope you do too 🥺

The Majestic 12 consisted of… twelve people. Obviously. 

These twelve people were not just ordinary 60's folk though, that was for sure. 

One was an alien, for starters. 

It also had a fairly wealthy billionaire, a few of them actually. They were all different enough, besides the amounts of money each of them had. And the fact that they were all cis white men. 

Maybe the fact that it was the 60's did affect the group a little bit. 

That didn't mean they weren't different from the average person of the time, though. Most average people weren't plotting to kill the president, aka Diego Hargreeves' bi awakening. 

Secret government officials that called themselves the Majestic 12. The Majestic 12. It sounded like a My Little Pony episode, and yet, here they still were. 

So in reality maybe the Majestic 12 wasn't all that majestic. Maybe they were just eleven guys and an alien that wanted to change the world for the better. Or the worse. It depended on the day, really. 

The group only lasted a few decades before it fell apart. The group fell apart, and then the bodies of eleven members fell apart after that. 

I guess you could call the last one standing the Majestic 1. 

(Hint: It was the alien.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAaaAAaaAa mfksnxnzn rip majestic 12 😔😔


	13. Mamie Pink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is v sad 😔😔 but it's weirdly similar to evelinaonline's fic??????? But also the complete opposite????? It's weird go read hers kgkdkcnxnnc

Ben scoffed from beside him. "Are you really going to-"

"Shh!" He was cut off by Klaus shushing him as they walked into the mansion. 

Ben crossed his arms as Klaus stood in front of the bathroom door, two cans of paint weighing heavily in his hands. 

Ben shook his head. "This is just sad, really. Pathetic even. Klaus, this isn't going to make you feel any better-" 

He was cut off once again by the cans of paint Klaus had held crashing onto the floor, thankfully not spilling open. He whipped around to face Ben, hands clenched into fists. 

"Do you have nothing better to do? Get lost." He said harshly, glaring at Ben as he didn't move, only continuing to stare at him. "What?"

Ben sighed and dropped his arms down by his sides. "Why are you really doing this?"

Klaus huffed. "I really don't see how that's any of your business."

"I live here too, don't I?" He questioned, clenching his own hands into fists while his stomach churned. 

Klaus laughed humorlessly. "You live nowhere. You're _dead_." It was a low blow, but Klaus couldn't see past the pain of a Dave that didn't know him. 

Ben huffed and ignored the comment, but Klaus could still see the way hurt shone in his eyes. It was hard not to see the way Ben's eyes would show his every emotion after seventeen years of seeing them do so day after day. 

"Really? I didn't notice." He mumbled under his breath before speaking louder. "This isn't going to make you feel any better." He repeated, and Klaus spun around to face the bathroom door, kicking it open loudly before picking up the cans of paint and walking inside. 

"Yeah," Klaus put the cans of paint on the floor, turning to face Ben again. "But it's gonna make this bathroom look so fucking good." 

He kicked the door shut in Ben's face, and he rolled his eyes as he stepped closer to the locked door. 

"You don't even have any paint brushes!" He yelled, only to receive an exasperated sigh in response. 

"Fuck off casper." Ben rolled his eyes once again, then winced at the sound of the paint cans opening. 

Ben pressed his ear against the locked bathroom door and listened as paint sloshed out of the cans and onto the walls, cursing Klaus' single brain cell. 

He pushed off the door quietly, heading in the direction of the gardens where he knew a certain person would be. He would deal with the aftermath of Klaus' sob session later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaa hope you cried and liked it 🥺🥺


	14. The Commission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I haven't been late for any of these mckxkdksk like,,,,,, how?????? 
> 
> A n y w a y s mgkxkxm I hope you like this one 🥺🥺

The Commission. 

The Commission was a not so secret, sort of top tier time controlling organization. And it was a mess. 

Herb would never say that the board of directors were the best. In reality, they got on his nerves quite a bit. They did keep the commission running, though. Carmichael even promoted him.

Herb didn't hold grudges. He didn't. Sue him for being frustrated that the board put the Handler under his supervision when they already knew that she had a vendetta against him. He had a permanent scar on his ear now, too. 

So yeah, maybe Herb didn't _like_ the board of the directors. But he could appreciate them and all that they did for the company. The space time continuum could be a hard thing to keep track of, and the board was doing a pretty good job. 

Until they were supposedly brutally murdered, that is. Now all the commission had was the Handler herself. Fantastic. 

She had only been head of The Commission for an hour and all Herb could hear were complaints from other people. People were disappearing quick, killed by her most likely. 

Oh, and she held a knife to his throat, so maybe he was just a little biased in the way he'd rather have a fish be his higher up. 

The Commission was falling apart way quicker than it was put together in the beginning. At least, it was, until a few super powered siblings decided to kill off their remaining soldiers. It didn't help very much in the long run, but killing the Handler certainly did put a small smile on Herb's face. 

Now, he was to be the acting chairperson until a new board was elected. 

What could possibly go wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you likeddd 🥺🥺


	15. Axe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written and posted very last minute but!!! Still before midnight so it still counts!!! Anyways I hope you like 🥺🥺

It was Five's… birthday. No need to specify the age. 

Well, it was all the Hargreeves birthday, but for some reason, his siblings decided to pick on him specifically. 

All the presents had been opened but one. And that one was handed to Five by a grinning Luther who was clearly holding back laughter. 

Five took the present suspiciously in his hands, tilting it side to side and trying to get a feel for what it might be. He only sat there for a minute before Klaus spoke up. 

"Come on old man, get to it." Five glared but said nothing, moving his hands to rip the paper off of the oddly shaped object. 

His idiotic siblings couldn't hold their laughter back any longer as he observed the bow unwrapped rubber axe in his hands. A rubber axe. 

He tossed it to the side and glared at each of them in turn as Luther moved forward, picking the axe up and holding it in his hands as if the rubber could actually cut something. 

"Come on Five, now you can give into your homicidal rage without the, yknow," He spun the axe around in his hands before throwing it back to Five. "Bloody murder." 

Five huffed. "Great. Thank you so much." 

The idiots. 

He loves them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you likeddd 🥺🥺


	16. Possession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No one:   
> Me: we're halfway through we're halfway through we're halfway through we're halfway through we're halfway through we're halfway through we're-
> 
> Jfkskdksk anyways!!! I'm just happy that I've been able to do all of these on time so far kfkskdksm let's hope I can do it the whole month? We'll see kfkskd

Not again. 

Not another new power that Klaus definitely did not need. 

It happened so fast. Almost exactly the same way that it had happened a year before. Almost. 

Screaming matches were uncommon between Ben and Klaus. Normally if they argued they would just let each other stew in their anger for a while before coming back and pretending nothing ever happened. This time, though-

"Why don't you just fuck off!" Klaus yelled, ignoring the way five of his other siblings scurried off into another room, most definitely listening in from behind the door. 

"Fuck off? You'd be dead if I hadn't been here the past two decades-" 

"Says the dead guy!" Ben glared at that, but didn't say anything else as he stood, tense, his arms crossed. 

Klaus sighed. "I don't understand why you care so much-"

"Because it directly affects me!" Ben cut him off loudly. "Why are you being such a selfish prick about it?!" 

"A selfish prick? Me? You realize that you're the one who's been clinging to me since the day I conjured you." He knew it was a low blow, he didn't care. 

Ben clenched his fists, nails digging into the skin of his palms as they trembled. "Well." He started, voice monotone. "I wish you wouldn't have."

Klaus took a step forward. "What?"

"I. Wish. You. Wouldn't. Have. Should have let me die in peace." He didn't mean it. Of course he didn't mean it. He knew that, Klaus knew that. It didn't prevent the rage from filling Klaus' mind though. 

He ran forward in an attempt to knock Ben onto the floor, ready to start a slap fight not unlike the one that they had on the road that year ago. Instead of managing to push Ben to the floor though, he went through him, into him, and he didn't go back out the other side. 

"What the fuck." He heard not-his thoughts think, and took a moment to feel bad for past Ben having to listen to his thoughts during the whole possession debacle. Oh yeah, the possession debacle. The thing that was happening once again. Except this time it was the other way around. Fantastic. 

Klaus steadied himself for a second as he attempted to tune out Ben's thoughts. This was… weird. 

He took a step forward before pausing. He couldn't feel the ground. There was a pressure, but he couldn't _feel_ it. 

It was almost like the colors were dimmer, too. Klaus could no longer hear the murmurs of their siblings outside the door and he couldn't smell the flowers on the windowsill. 

"How did you do that." He heard Ben's thoughts think, and shook not-his head in response. 

"I don't… I don't know." Klaus attempted to take another step forward, but stumbled a bit at the loss of gravity. 

"What the fuck, Ben, you can't feel gravity?" He got no response. 

How did he manage to possess a _ghost_. How did he manage to possess a body that wasn't alive any more? 

He didn't know. All he knew was that he wanted _out_. 

It didn't take much. All Klaus had to do was close not-his eyes and concentrate for a moment. When he reopened his eyes, in front of him was a silent Ben. 

"Ben-" 

"Come on." He cut him off. "Let's go find the others." 

Klaus nodded, and followed him out the door. 

Maybe they understood each other a little better after that day. Maybe Ben understood more so how what he did the year before was wrong. And maybe Klaus was starting to understand why Ben did what he did. Maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked 🥺🥺


	17. Baby Pogo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is,,,,,,, a day late. And very short. I have failed 😔😔😔 bUT IN MY DEFENSE I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA FALL BEHIND A LOT SOONER AND A LOT FURTHER THAN I HAVE KFMSMDMSMDM I'M ONLY A DAY BEHIND AND AM GONNA POST TWO TOMORROW THEN I'LL BE COMPLETELY CAUGHT UP SO IT'S FINE JCJXNXNZMXM

"What happened there?" 

Five sighed, moving his hand to cover the scratches on his neck. Diego moved to sit up, wincing as the skin around the stab wound pulled. 

"Pogo." Five said simply, moving his hand back down to his side. 

"Pogo…?" 

"Baby pogo, actually." He sighed. "I knew that I would see him again, I just thought-"

"He would be less scratchy?" Diego cut in. "At least you go to see him. The last time I saw him I had a horrible haircut." 

Five rolled his eyes. "Mhm." He leaned against the couch, crossing his arms before speaking softer than before. "You'll see him again." 

"Yeah. I will."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked 🥺🥺


	18. Dancing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some dielila for the s o u l kdkskdksk
> 
> I hope you like 🥺🥺🥺

"Why are we doing this again?" Lila huffed as Diego swayed them across the hardwood floor. 

"Because." He started, pulling her closer while the music hummed from the radio across the fairly empty room. "The last time we danced…" 

Lila moved her hand from his shoulder to slap the side of his head lightly, then moved it back to his shoulder, a fake offended look on her face. 

"Okay, in my defense, you left me first." 

"And you're the one who saved my brother before me!" He retaliated, attempting to hold back his smile. 

"Aw, poor Diego couldn't hold his own against a couple of Swedes?" She questioned teasingly, moving one of her hands to cup the side of his face. 

"They were trained assassins." He said, voice monotone, and Lila hummed before replying. 

"So were you." 

"Were?" He asked incredulously. 

"You're getting soft." She pulled him closer, and he melted slightly in her arms. 

"Maybe just a little."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaa hope you likeddd 🥺🥺🥺 excuse the sappy-ness kfkdkdkdk


	19. Laughing Gas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaa a day late but 😔😔 we trying our best jdjsjdjsn

"You guys know what we should do?" Klaus started, eyeing the gas canister a few feet away as three of his brothers stormed out of the apartment. 

Allison hummed questioningly as Vanya looked at them both with slight concern. Ben followed his gaze to the laughing gas but before he could start to protest Klaus spoke up. 

"We should get really, really high." He pointed to the canister next to the dentist chair with the hand that was holding the blunt, and Vanya sighed.

"Is getting high on laughing gas going to cause the end of the world?" She questioned, already starting to stand and make her way to the chairs. 

"Well," Allison huffed, draping herself over the couch closest to the gas, laying on her stomach. "Other than that I don't think it could really make things any worse." 

"Yeah!" Klaus moved forward, collapsing into the dentist chair and snapping his fingers as Vanya sat beside him. He grabbed the three masks and handed one to Vanya and Allison, keeping the third for himself and immediately putting it over his mouth and nose, breathing in deeply. 

He pulled it off of his nose with a grin and a laugh while his three remaining siblings watched, two of them turning to the masks in their hands with hesitstion. Klaus put it to his mouth again, breathing in more of the gas and becoming more and more light headed as his thoughts muddled. 

"Come on guys." He laughed, spinning lightly in the chair. "This is great." 

Allison eyed him for a moment before bringing the mask to her own nose, breathing in the gas and allowing it to settle in her lungs. She pulled it off of her face with a giggle and turned to face Vanya, who just began to hesitantly breathe in the gas. 

Only minutes later all that was left of them was a pile of giggling siblings on the couch with an exasperated ghost standing over them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it 🥺🥺


	20. Destiny's Children

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love this one a lot kfkskdk and!!!! I'm finally caught up which is nice mckxkx

Destiny's Children had finally settled. Temporarily. 

They had a mansion in Dallas, but the Prophet never liked for them to stay in one place for too long. 

Keechie didn't know why the Prophet had taken them to New York, but he wouldn't question it. He trusted him. Trusted that he knew what was best for the group. 

He had run off to some place, though. Leaving the cult to fend for themselves for more than twenty-four hours was a mistake, Klaus would later find out.

Without the Prophet to occupy the group, they wandered out into the city, following wherever Keechie led, causing them to end up on the main road of the city, shops lining the streets. 

"Keechie. This is a terrible idea." He whipped around to face the new member of the group, glasses sliding down his nose in his haste. 

"If you truly follow the Prophet, nothing is too much." Keechie said defensively, moving his hands to his forehead to create a triangle shape with his palms as the new member did the same. 

"Yes, of course." He said quickly, and Keechie nodded, moving his hands back down to his sides and leading the small group into the cheap looking tattoo parlor. 

They were small now, only thirty members, but Keechie knew that they would grow. Knew that the Prophet would only continue to gather more people to be enlightened. He would be overjoyed at the prospect of his followers leading in his footsteps not only mentally but also physically. 

He clapped his soon to be inked hands together before walking towards the front desk, the heavily tattooed man at the front eyeing the group in blue warily. 

Keechie held up his palms to face the man. "Hello and goodbye for all of us, please." The man stared at Keechie for a moment before responding. 

"Go ahead and uh…" His gaze flickered between the thirty people "Sit down in those chairs. We can only do five at a time." 

The group moved in sync towards the area the man had pointed in, and Keechie quickly hopped up onto the first bar stool, Jill sitting eagerly next to him. They looked at each other, excitement in their eyes. They turned to watch the other three members sit hesitantly onto the rickety stools, the old wood creaking beneath their weight. 

The rest of the group moved to sit on the dusty floor, the other people inside of the parlor staring at them oddly as they condensed into one small area. Keechie and Jill didn't mind the odd stares. It wasn't the first time that they had gotten them, and they were both sure that it wouldn't be the last. 

It seemed easy enough for the artists to set up their tools. Hand held gun looking things with needles on the end sat next to bowls of black ink, resting almost ominously on the tall table where the five group members sat. 

"So," One of the artists stepped forward, dipping the needle into the bowl of ink lightly before turning to face them. "Who's going first?" 

Before Keechie could even begin to think about speaking, he heard a little 'me' from beside him, and turned to see Jill grinning, smile lighting up her face. 

The artist raised an eyebrow but shrugged, coming forward quickly and turning on the loud machine. He swiftly brought the needle to Jill's hands without even a small flinch from her. 

She tilted her head down and watched, mesmerized, as the artist pushed the ink under the skin of her palms. The stinging sensation went unnoticed by her while she stared. 

When the artist was finally finished only twenty minutes later Jill brought her palms towards her face, staring at the fresh tattoos for a moment before bringing them to her head, forming a triangle with her hands facing outwards. She turned to Keechie, a small smile on her face while the artist set up for the next tattoo. 

"So? How do they look?" Keechie grinned at her in response. 

"Amazing." She smiled back at him and Keechie turned to face the table, placing his hands face up in front of himself. "Me next." He said quickly as the artist walked up, fresh needle in hand. 

He dipped the needle in the ink with a sigh. He looked at Keechie before turning to glance at the other twenty members of the group, leaning forward eagerly. 

"This is gonna be a long night." He mumbled under his breath, before beginning to tattoo his second of thirty clients.

* * *

Later on, as the group showed their stinging palms to their leader, they were too blinded by their excitement to see the prophet share a nervous glance with the empty air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you likedddd 🥺🥺


	21. Amnesia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love this one so much mfkzkdns I hope you do too 🥺🥺

They both screamed as they fell from the vortex swirling in the sky, their arms and legs flailing before they crashed into the ground. 

Klaus immediately jumped up and groaned. "That was _awful_." He turned to the side and saw Ben, still sitting on the ground and rubbing his head, a far away look in his eyes. 

"Am I right Ben?" Klaus questioned, and Ben stood quickly, moving backwards a few steps, only a foot away from the brick wall of the alley. 

"What-" He shook his head, and crossed his arms. "Why do you know my name? Who the hell are you? And where are we?" He whipped his head from side to side, searching for answers while Klaus stared at him incredulously. 

"Are you fucking with me?" He asked, taking a small step forward. "This isn't funny man." 

Ben scrambled backwards as Klaus stepped forward, but instead of his back hitting the wall like he expected, he phased right through it. When he realized what had happened, he jumped out of the wall and turned to stare at it in disbelief. 

"W-what? How-" He squeezed his eyes shut before opening them again. "What just happened." He moved his gaze to look at his shaking hands, clenching them into fists. "What's going on." He turned to Klaus, eyes wide. 

This was bad, Klaus thought to himself. Not only did Ben forget, _everything_ , he also did not remember the fact that he was dead. And had been for the last thirteen years. They had a lot to unpack here and Klaus was decidedly unprepared. 

"Well Benny boy, you see, you're kind of, how you say, not alive." He gestured helplessly with his hands as Ben dropped his own by his side. 

"I'm _dead_?" He asked, crossing his arms uncomfortably and looking around the alley. 

"Just a little bit?" Ben glared at him, and Klaus sighed. At least it was still _him_. All Klaus had to do was figure out how he could get his memories back. Easy peasy. 

"I… I don't remember anything." He said softly, looking to the ground. Klaus stepped towards him, and this time he didn't step back. 

"We'll get your memories back." He said, and Ben nodded. 

They would get his memories back. 

(Less than a month later, Ben was Ben again.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaa hope you liked 🥺🥺


	22. JFK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one,,,,, is v cracky kdnsjdj but I love it 😔😔 it's on time too!!

In hindsight, attempting to sneak into Oswald's house at two in the morning the day after he arrived in the sixties wasn't his _best_ idea. 

It's not his fault that he thought he could evade the cops. 

He just didn't expect Oswald to scream so loudly when he saw a vigilante standing over his bed with a knife prepared to slice off his trigger finger. 

Then again, screaming about how Oswald was going to kill JFK as the cops dragged him away in handcuffs wasn't a fantastic idea either. At least it got him out of a prison sentence. 

Diego wasn't sure if that was much better than the psych ward, though. At least this way he had a chance to get out a few months later rather than a few years. 

And there wouldn't be a Lila in prison. 

Not that that mattered, of course. What mattered was that he needed to get _out_. He needed to save the president. He needed to be the hero. 

The sixties Dallas Police Department wasn't very supportive of that need.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked 🥺🥺


	23. Apology

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS WAS ON TIME AND IT'S MAKING ME CRY WHAT A COMBO

He could do it. He could do it. 

All he had to do was turn, open his mouth, and let the apology spill out. It wouldn't even be that hard. All he had to do was say the words _I'm sorry._ It would be easy. 

He turned his head to face Klaus, opening his mouth to speak, but the words got caught in his throat as he stared at Ben weirdly. 

"You alright there? Are you choking? Did you try to eat? You know if you try to eat that's only gonna lead to more disappointment-" 

"I'm sorry." Ben cut him off quickly, the words tumbling out of his mouth against his will as Klaus snapped his own shut in surprise before laughing. 

"For what?" He moved to lean against the couch, staring at Ben as he tried to get the words floating around his brain to form sentences. 

Ben sighed before speaking. "For… you know… not letting you have your body back?" Maybe this was going to be harder than he thought. 

Klaus actually looked surprised for a moment before he started laughing again, this time a little more forced. "It's alright man, I get it-"

"No." He cut him off again. "I shouldn't have done it. I was just…" He trailed off, then sighed again. "Scared. I was scared."

Klaus' face went back to stunned before he sighed, looking to the ground. 

"It was shitty, but I didn't really… give you much of a reason not to, did I?" Ben tilted his head to the side in confusion, opening his mouth to question but before he could Klaus spoke again. "I mean, come on. I kept you away from our family for _years_ Ben. Not that we're the greatest family in the world, but it was still shitty." 

"I mean-" Klaus' glare cut him off. "Yeah. We both suck." 

Klaus' laugh was a little more genuine that time, and everything would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaa hope you liked it 🥺🥺


	24. Fraud

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was wrote,,,, very quickly but I actually love it kxkzkz

"I'm a fraud, I'm a fraud, I'm a fraud, I'm a fraud, I'm a-"

"Keechie!" Klaus cut him off quickly, and he immediately looked down to the ground, snapping his mouth shut. "Come on, we've talked about this." 

"But-"

"No!" He cut him off again. "No." Klaus pointed at himself exaggeratedly as he looked around at his gathered cult. "I am a fraud. _Me._ "

"This isn't gonna work." Ben sighed, and Klaus hissed at him quietly. This would work. 

"But…"

"Keechie. I. Am. A fraud. Okay?" Klaus put his hands on his shoulders and shook them slightly. "Okay?"

"I think… I think I understand…" He said quietly, and Klaus removed his hands from his shoulders. 

"Does he?" Ben asked disbelievingly from behind him. 

"Do you?" Klaus repeated, stepping back. 

"Yes." Keechie nodded quickly. "Not only am I a fraud-" Ben's groan went unheard. "But we are all frauds! Including you, prophet."

"No. No, no, no." His protests went unheard as Destiny's Children began mumbling about fraudulance or whatever. 

Klaus turned to face Ben, looking at him with a blank look before walking to his room and slamming the door

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it 🥺🥺


	25. Paradox Psychosis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I love this one kfkskxmzm and I hope you do too 🥺🥺

Ben was acting… strange. 

Not Ben-strange, but extra weird, even for his ghost of a brother. 

Klaus guessed that seeing your lookalike would do that to you, but even this seemed excessive. 

The second that they got to the new timeline, he started… denying everything. Even when Klaus just suggested that he was scratching his neck a bit too much to be a ghost he immediately denied that he was doing anything. 

He would keep complaining about being thirsty, and that couldn't be right. Ghosts couldn't _feel_ thirst, right? At least, Ben had never said anything about it before. 

When they were about a week into the timeline, the siblings were all still staying at the academy with nowhere else to go, and Ben just kept getting _worse_. Sparrow Ben was starting to act a little strangely too, but not as bad as Ben. 

By the end of the month, he was just constantly angry, even their siblings noticed it when Klaus managed to make him visible, and he had no idea what the fuck was going on with him. 

Two months after that, Sparrow Ben was acting just as crazy as Ben had the late couple of months, and Klaus had to figure out what was going on. 

An hour after he decided that, he went up to Five, who had to kind of know what was going on, right?

All he had to do was mention both Ben's and Five already knew. 

"They've been acting crazy ever since we got here, Sparrow Ben's insanity started a while after our Ben's, but-"

"Paradox Psychosis." Five cut him off, taking a sip of his coffee. 

"Para-what?" Five sighed. 

"Paradox. Psychosis. It happens when you're in close proximity with another version of yourself in the same timeline. I thought that it wouldn't work because Ben is dead but clearly that's not the case." He said quickly, and Klaus' brain struggled to catch up before he responded a moment later. 

"Sparrow Ben only acted all crazy a few months after we got here, but Ben was acting insane the moment we landed." Klaus said, watching as Five thought from across from him. 

"Probably because Ben's dead, gone, in another plane of existence whatever. It probably just works a bit differently." Klaus stared at him for a minute, and Five sighed again. " _What_."

"How do we fix it?" He questioned. "They can't just stay like this forever." 

Five set his coffee cup down. "Well, it said in the commission handbooks that Paradox Psychosis wore off after a fairly long frame of time, but it never said how long. I think it varies." 

Klaus groaned, leaning his head against his hand. "So, we're just going to have to wait?" Five nodded, and Klaus sighed. 

This would be a fun few more months. Now he had to deal with not just one, but two tentacle wielding Ben's diagnosed with homicidal rage. 

Fantastic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaa hope you liked 🥺


	26. Soundtrack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oki!! So I've never written a songfic before??? But this was actually kinda fun so I'll probably write more in the future 🥺🥺
> 
> This is about Diego and Lila kfkdkx I didn't out their names in it to keep the flow/vibe but 😔😔 it's them kdkzjx 
> 
> Warnings: talk of manipulation and questioning ones sanity
> 
> Anyways nfkskd i hope you like 🥺🥺

_I remember when, I remember  
I remember when I lost my mind_

He wasn't crazy. He wasn't. 

_There was something so pleasant about that place_

He had to save the president. He had to be the hero. 

_Even your emotions have an echo  
Into so much space_

It wasn't because of Reginald, it was because he was a hero. He decided for himself that he was a hero, his father didn't decide that for him. 

_And when you're out there  
Without care  
Yeah, I was out of touch  
But it wasn't because I didn't know enough  
I just knew too much_

He knew the president was going to die. He knew and everyone else didn't. That's why they thought he was crazy. That's why they locked him up. 

_Does that make me crazy?_

He wasn't crazy. 

_Does that make me crazy?_

He just had to do what he was in the world to do. Be a hero. 

_Does that make me crazy?_

He wasn't crazy. 

_Possibly_

He was _not_ crazy. 

_Come on now, who do you  
Who do you, who do you  
Who do you think you are?_

She was crazy. 

_Bless your soul_

She was crazy, he was not. 

_You really think you're in control?_

She was controlling him. She was controlling him. 

_I think you're crazy_

She was crazy. 

_I think you're crazy_

She manipulated him. She was manipulated into manipulating him. 

_And I think you're crazy_

She was crazy. 

_Just like me_

They were manipulated. 

_Ever since I was little  
Ever since I was little and it looked like fun_

He was a hero for so long. 

_And it's no coincidence I've come_

He would always be a hero. 

_And I can die when I'm done_

He would die a hero. 

_Maybe I'm crazy_

He was crazy. 

_Maybe you're crazy_

She was crazy. 

_Maybe we're crazy_

They were crazy. 

_Probably_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaa hope you liked 🥺🥺


	27. Light Supper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a load of bullshit but at least it's on time kfjskdkdk

Ben was doing perfectly fine on his own in Klaus' room, thank you very much. 

He was alternating between thinking about how the fuck he had just possessed his brother and thinking about Jill every couple of minutes. 

He only got to have the sweet bliss of being alone for a moment before Klaus burst into the room, slamming the door open and then closed, then turning to face Ben. 

"What in the absolute fuck is a light supper?"

Ben looked at him strangely before standing and walking over to him hesitantly. "Uh… I think it's like, a lunch, but around… dinner-ish time?" He had no idea what he was talking about. "Why?"

"Well." Klaus started, throwing the letter he held in his hands to Ben. "Dear old dad has invited us to one." Ben's back stiffened, and Klaus chuckled humorlessly. "Yep. This is gonna be exciting."

Ben sighed, throwing the letter to the ground and collapsing onto one of cushions, rubbing his dry eyes roughly. Apparently he would be spending the next two hours or so with his siblings who couldn't see him and a father that didn't know him. _Great._

(Afterwards, he still really didn't know what a 'light supper' was.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked 🥺🥺


	28. Funeral

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I surprisingly didn't write this about Ben kfmsldmsmdkfkdkzmdm and we're getting close to the end 😔😔 this has been so much fun though 🥺🥺 and I'm excited for next year already

"Number Five is not dead." Their father said sternly, glancing at each of the six lined up in front of him in turn. "He will be back."

Pogo looked grim as he hung the painting on the mantel behind Reginald, giving each of the children dressed in uniforms sympathetic looks. 

"He is not dead, but he is gone. His picture is hung up on the mantel to serve as a reminder." 

Ben sniffled from somewhere in the line, and Reginald gave him a sharp look, making him stand straighter and ignore the tear running down his cheek. 

"A reminder," He continued, "That disobedience will only lead to downfall." He gestured to the picture with his cane. "It will lead to hardship in the future," He pointed the cane menacingly at the six, "And will lead to pain in the present." 

They all nodded quickly, then listened as Pogo began to talk about Number Five. He talked about what he had done for the academy. 

After, Reginald began to talk about him as well. He talked about how Five had been a disgrace to the academy, about how he had failed them all, and about how none of them would ever do the same. 

He told them that Number Five wasn't dead. 

But if he wasn't dead, then why did it feel like a funeral?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked 🥺🥺


	29. Family BBQ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I POSTED THIS ONE OM TUMBLR ON TIME BUT I FORGOT TO POST IT HERE KFKZKXKSKZKKSKSKSKDKSKDK ANYWAYS HERE IT IS

When Klaus told Raymond that family barbeques were going to get weird, he didn't mean actual, genuine, family barbeques. He thought that they were far too dysfunctional for that kind of front cover magazine stuff. 

And yet, here they all were, the seven, their significant others, and their children all outside on a hot summers day while Diego and Ray argued over who should cook the chicken. 

It was… nice. Weird, but nice. Klaus was able to make Ben and Dave corporeal without having them glow blue, and Claire and Harlan were playing together in the nearby park while Sissy and Allison watched them and talked. Jill and Lila were hitting it off while Ben and Dave sat with them, leaving Klaus and Luther to be subjected to Five's insults as he held Dolores. 

When Ray and Diego finally settled on Ray cooking the chicken wings and Diego making the kebabs, the smell of barbeque began to travel through the air. Once the delicious scent reached the park, Harlan and Claire grabbed onto the arms of their moms, pulling them to where the smell was coming from with few protests from them. 

They both pouted when they found that it would be a while before the food was done, but didn't sit there begging for long. They dropped their mom's arms and ran to Lila and Jill, dragging them away from Ben and Dave and back to the park. 

All Dave did was roll his eyes fondly and turn to Ben, beginning to talk about Star Wars or books or whatever those two dorks that Klaus loved liked to talk about. They ended up getting along just as well as he knew they would. 

Jill and Lila _adored_ Harlan and Claire, Ray and Diego were doing their best to get along through their cooking debates, and Sissy and Allison were walking over to join Klaus, Luther and Five. 

In the time that it took Klaus to stop zoning out and thinking about how much of a mess they all were, the food was finally ready. 

They all gathered around the large table, sitting in their places while Jill, Luther, Sissy and Dave set the table, Ray and Diego putting the food on the plates after the table was set. 

Ben and Jill talked quietly together while they ate. Allison, Diego, Ray and Lila talked loudly across the table at each other, saying something or other about how the chicken was overcooked and the kebabs were under-sauced. Claire was talking quickly about her favorite new book that she had been reading to Harlan, who was happy to listen. Everyone else dispersed around the table watched with amusement at the interactions. 

Between bites Klaus would smile at Dave, or remind Claire about a character she forgot the name of in her book, or tease Ben for the way him and Jill were holding hands under the table, and it was nice. Weird, but nice. 

He loved his stupid, weird, dysfunctional family. He loved them. 

Family barbeques were about to get real awesome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked 🥺🥺


	30. Ben

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This made me cry kdksksks I wrote it and it made me cry aNYWAYS here's this fic about my favorite boy 🥺🥺 I hope you likeee

Ben always thought of himself as a monster. Something unlovable. Something made for terror, destruction. Something made to destroy everything around it, even the people and things it loved, even itself. 

And he did end up destroying himself, in the end. 

He still didn't know whether it was his own mind that caused his death or him just losing control over the beings. He didn't want to know. Not even seventeen years later. He didn't think he could handle the answer. 

It wasn't as if he had people to tell him otherwise, either. Not in his life or afterlife did he have anyone vehemently denying that he was a creature made solely for evil. 

He died before he got the chance to interact with anyone for a long period of time outside of his family, and his family would never win an award for emotional support. 

That wasn't their fault, though, he supposed. They were never taught to interact with others, never taught how to connect with and help someone emotionally. This was something most, if not all of them learned after they left the academy and were exposed to people who did learn these things, people who were willing to share these things with them. People who cared enough about them to teach them how to love themselves. 

Ben never left the academy. He never got that. He never would get that. 

He realized that soon, after he died. He missed out on a hundred thousand things not just by dying but also by living under Reginald's roof. He grew up too fast, and yet he didn't really grow up at all. 

He was scared, terrified, of going into the light when he died. He didn't know if there was some kind of heaven and hell or not, but what he did know was that heaven didn't exist for monsters, and being stuck forever on earth with his brother couldn't be worse than any type of hell he would be sent to. So, he stayed. He stayed until the light dragged him in on its own accord. 

The light dragged him in, and god, he was so scared. But it was okay, it was going to be okay because at least he got a hug before he went, as he went. 

All he had to do was hope that the good side of the light would accept monsters like him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked 🥺🥺 only one fic left to go 👀👀


	31. Sparrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're at the end 😔😔 and I'm sad kckzkxkzk but also lowkey proud of myself bc I've never finished an event before????? Anyways I hope you like this last drabble 🥺🥺

"Dad, who the hell are these assholes?"

The familiar voice rang out loudly, and the umbrella academy turned slowly to face it. They all knew the voice, recognized it before they turned around, and yet they were still surprised by the person they saw standing before them. 

Maybe they were surprised because he was so much older than what they remembered. Maybe they were surprised because they thought they would never see him again. 

And maybe, just maybe, they were a little angry, after the surprise wore off. Why did this Ben get to survive? Why did this Ben's siblings get to keep their brother, while they lost their own two decades before? Why did this Ben deserve to live and their Ben didn't? 

Then maybe, maybe they got a little sad. Maybe they got a little sad and realized that this Ben could've survived because this Ben's siblings were better. Maybe this Ben's siblings were better equipped to save him. Or maybe they were worth living for, to this Ben. 

At first, they treated him as if he was the sibling they all knew, loved, and missed so much. But then, they realized. They realized that this wasn't their Ben. 

It didn't take long for that realization to come. He acted differently than their Ben did. He was prickly, and his favorite food was oranges. 

Their Ben hated oranges. 

This Ben hated reading. This Ben gave bad hugs. This Ben had bad hair. This Ben never sat with Five as he did equations. This Ben never spent seventeen years with Klaus. This Ben never helped Allison paint her nails. This Ben never played pranks with Diego by his side. This Ben never spent the night with Luther. This Ben never had talks with Vanya. This Ben never _died_. This Ben, this Ben, this Ben, this Ben-

This Ben never loved them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaa hope you liked and thabk to all that made it this far 🥺🥺

**Author's Note:**

> Let's hope I can keep up and not fall behind kznmxmskdmsm


End file.
